Get More From Therapy!

Sometimes we hear different timelines that people were in therapy, oftentimes insurance or workplaces encourage only 8 sessions, while others in your life may say it’s been years. I’ve had many clients over the years even tell me they never want to end!

In the context of a client, I want to offer empathy for the experience around feeling saddened by the idea of one day no longer seeing your therapist every week or whatever frequency you may be at. From the therapist side, I want my clients to know that I will often also be sad or even miss getting to hear about life updates!

So how do you know when you’re ready? Well, there are a few reasons you might choose to end therapy on your own terms (AKA not due to insurance issues, moving out of state, etc.). I’m going to go over each of these reasons, but in short you can look for the following:

1.       Your treatment plan goals are met.

2.       You feel like your therapist isn’t adding new information/skills during your sessions.

3.       You are actively using skills on your own, without frequent reminders.

4.       You don’t have anything to bring up in session.

Now, to be clear, you may be experiencing just one of these and not feel quite ready to leave your therapist, that’s ok! You may also have other reasons outside of this when choosing to leave.

I also want to add, while this post is more so about feeling as though you’ve ‘successfully graduated’ from therapy, there are additional reasons you may choose to leave your specific therapist, but may not be ready to end therapy altogether. One of the main reasons for this is if you feel your therapist doesn’t connect with you or you feel judged by them. Always remember you can choose to leave an individual therapist at any point if this comes up, however I will also encourage clients to advocate for themselves! Therapists are people too and often aren’t going to be perfect in what they may say or how they may understand your experience differently from their own. If this is a repeated issue, though? Again, you can choose a new therapist at any point.

Treatment Plan Goals

Back to why we may feel ready to end therapy. Some of you may be asking “what are my treatment plan goals?” This is something your therapist should create with you at the beginning of treatment and (ideally) be checking up on every few months. These are our long-term goals related to why you sought therapy in the first place.

Some examples of treatment plan goals are:

“I want to understand and process my trauma”

“I want to feel like I’m not struggling to wake up every day.”

“I’d like to have work-life balance.”

“I want to be able to use skills for my anxiety.”

You may also have a therapist, like myself, that creates 2-3 goals in your treatment plan. When thinking about leaving therapy, you’ll want to feel that all of these goals are met!

When your therapist reviews these goals, again, hopefully regularly, this is your opportunity to check in with yourself around how you’re doing and if you feel ready to reduce sessions or end therapy! This is also a space for you to check in with your present life and see if perhaps your old goals are met, but you have new goals that have come up!

Therapist Isn’t Adding Anymore

As a therapist, this is one area I feel very often clients won’t bring to my attention. This is one reason why a clinician may actually refer you to another therapist or they may even bring it to your attention themselves!

When a therapist has worked with you, especially in long-term therapy, we often may review the same skills. This isn’t inherently bad! Sometimes we need reminders around our skills because memory doesn’t always serve us well. However, what I mean in this section, is if you have the same skills brought up and you are using them effectively and your therapist continues to usher you toward using them or reminds you of these skills, you may have reached your capacity with this therapist.

This is actually one of the more difficult ways we find ourselves struggling to leave therapy because you likely would still be having problems come up! Where this point alone stands, you may not feel 100% ready to leave therapy, but rather finding yourself wanting to look for a different therapist or ask for new modalities.

Overall, this decision may require some more insight within yourself to ask: am I using my skills and I’m just worried they aren’t doing enough when they actually are fulfilling my needs?

Using Skills without Reminders

This point may be where you notice something similar to the last one, you are actively using your skills! At this point in therapy, you may recognize that you are regularly using your skills and noticing the impact they make in your life. You may realize that you know what parts are speaking up, when you need to process versus ground, how to practice mindfulness, etc. This is a great indicator that you’re close or even ready to graduate from therapy!

If you’re feeling as though you’re doing these things, but still feeling uneasy about not seeing your therapist, check in with yourself on if there are any areas of life you are still struggling in. Bring those up and challenge yourself to start using your skills in those spots and see if you still feel that way!

Nothing to Say

What about when you go to session and start with “I don’t really know what I want to talk about today”? This sentence on its own doesn’t mean too much, so don’t worry if you’ve said it before but you’re still seeing your therapist. What matters is the conversation after. A good therapist will be able to find parts of your goals or life that still benefit from processing or skills, even if you don’t have a specific theme for the session.

If instead though, your session turns into a review of skills you’re using, general life talk that feels more like a conversation with a friend, or even awkward silences, that’s when you can check in with yourself on feeling ready to have the conversation about ending treatment. I usually recommend clients reduce session frequency first, instead of going from weekly to never, so if you’re still doing weekly, maybe try every other week or even monthly first to see if that changes how your sessions go!

The Therapist’s Role

Now, I want to clarify: it is not your sole responsibility to decide if you’re ready to end sessions. Your therapist may also discuss this with you (especially if you’re just happy to go to therapy and have your own space!). If your therapist brings up any of the reasons I’ve written, or even other indicators of progress, please don’t take that as a bad thing! One of the main goals of any therapist should be to eventually not feel needed.

Some therapists, like myself, are more likely to let the client lead around session frequency or ending treatment. I usually tell my clients that it’s a 90/10 split on the decision. I want to make sure you feel confident in ending treatment or changing frequency because you’re the one living your life! I won’t be able to see the difficult moments you face outside of session, especially if you’re nervous to bring them up. So, while a therapist may encourage you when they see you’re ready, you can always advocate for yourself if there are times you’re struggling!

Feel free to drop questions below if you’re uncertain about any of these points or even if you think of other reasons you’ve ended therapy successfully!